Have you ever noticed how your thinking changes after spending time with people who are truly in their element?
Your growth and expansion is not just about effort or ambition. The people you surround yourself with plays a big role. Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Who you spend time with quietly sets your standards, expands or shrinks what you believe is possible and influences how boldly you act.
Yes, your effort matters. Yes, your talent matters. Yes, your discipline matters.
But the people we spend time with, the conversations we’re immersed in, the standards we absorb and the behaviours that get normalised play a far bigger role in our success than most of us would like to admit.
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling expanded, energised or suddenly more confident about what’s possible, you’re already experiencing the power of proximity. And if you’ve ever felt yourself shrink or second guess yourself after being in certain environments, that’s proximity at work too.
If everyone around you is exhausted, cynical or quietly resigned, that energy becomes contagious. Not because you lack drive, but because your environment is constantly reinforcing perceived limits.
As human beings we’re wired for belonging and we subconsciously adjust our thinking, behaviour and our ambition to match what feels normal in the rooms we occupy.
If no one around you is stretching, evolving or playing at the level you aspire, your dreams can start to feel unrealistic. Over time this can lead to you playing small and diminishing your potential. It is a signal that your environment hasn’t caught up with who you aspire to become.
So, surround yourself with people who are succeeding at what you want to be successful at. When you spend time with people who think differently, lead boldly and trust themselves, your internal reference points shift.
Once you’re in the right rooms, the next step is to model the behaviours and mindsets you admire and that are producing the results you want.
Modelling works best when it’s intentional and targeted. It works like this:
First notice how people you admire operate, for example, how they speak, how they decide, how they prioritise and how they recover from mistakes.
Then choose what resonates with you and ask yourself why it works and how it could work for you specifically. This is where you give it your own spin.
Then try one small action, just an experiment to see how it works for you.
The next step is to reflect honestly and decide if it felt aligned, produced the result you intended and felt genuine to you. Also consider what you would adjust.
And then you repeat.
You pick another action or behaviour that you want to model. You observe, you choose what resonates with you, you take action and then you reflect and learn. And so on…small adjustments that produce big results over time.
So, if you’re feeling restless, stuck or quietly craving more, don’t ask what’s wrong with you. Ask instead:
– Who am I spending the most time with?
– What would stretch my thinking? and,
– Who do I need to get in proximity with to change the trajectory of my growth and success?
Then go find those people.
And get into proximity with them!